The latest Glade candle commercial reminds me of a hilarious—yet wrong, on sooo many levels—incident between my husband and me the other morning. I was preparing my daughter and the toddler I babysit for playing outside, and I called from my daughter’s room and asked him to check on the weather for me. Lately, you can’t be sure if it will be cool or warm—welcome, September!—so I wanted to know if they were okay in shorts. Instead of walking outside to see how hot or cold it was—out the front door that was mere feet from him—he actually flipped over to the Weather Channel to see!

I gaped at him when we came into the room and expressed my incredulity, to which he replied, “Are you disappointed that I’m such a guy?” I responded, “That wasn’t a guy thing to do so much as an American one!” Case in point: the new “Glade Cashmere Woods” candle. (Note: I looked for a link or embedded video for this commercial but came up short; if you run across it online, please feel free to post the link below.)

Forgetting the whole point that cashmere is a wool clothing product, having nothing to do with woods—and probably only being included in the product name to induce a feeling of fall comfort rather than anything close to relevance—the commercial for this stupid candle is beyond ridiculous.

Like most other candle commercials, a working woman comes home and needs to unwind—something only a candle can provide! First off, we know that most widely available commercial candles are harmful to one’s health and the environment. Glade in particular, while not so bad on the environment as some other brands, has been known to be a health hazard. Several ingredients in the candles are considered to contain mid-level health concerns. So the thing probably isn’t the most healthful way to “unwind” in the first place.

But according to the commercial, she is instantly whisked away into an idyllic scene in nature, relieving her stress and making her one with the woods! The idiocy of the commercial is right there for anyone to see: she can step right outside into nature if she wants to “escape” into the woods—perhaps the realness of the bugs, poison ivy, and bird poop are too much for her?—without the added chemicals and fragrances. Of course, that would be too easy—and wouldn’t require paying money, making it pointless, yeah?

Stressed-Out Lady, take my advice. Go outside and breathe in some fresh air instead of lighting your Glade “Cashmere Woods” candle. Your lungs and wallet will thank you for it.